After the birth of their 9th child, a redneck couple decided they’d had enough because they couldn’t afford a larger bed. The husband went to the veterinarian and asked to be snipped.

“Me’n my cousin don’t want no more kids”

The vet told him he could get a vasectomy, but it was expensive. “There is a cheaper option,” said the vet. “Go home, grab a leftover firecracker from Hallowe’en, light it up and put it in a Coors Lite can, then hold the can up to your ear and count to 10.”

“I ain’t no rocket surgeon,” said the redneck, “but how’s that gonna help me?”

“Trust me” said the vet

So the redneck went home, chugged a beer then stuffed a lit firecracker in the empty can. He brought it up to his ear and began to count:

“1… 2… 3… 4… 5…”

Once he got to five, he stopped for a second, put the can between his legs, and resumed the count on his other hand.